In life, we encounter a whole range of stale ideas about what’s supposedly right, and what’s wrong. We hear some things so often that automatically start accepting them as truth. Since many of these things are negative, when we latch on to them, they can weigh us down for years on end.
Here’s another great article from professional ’lifehacker’ Mark Chernoff, in which he helps us to confront a number of potentially damaging lies head on.
Lie number 1: Alone means lonely
‘Alone’ doesn’t always mean lonely, and ‘relationship’ doesn’t always mean happy. Being alone will never cause as much loneliness as the wrong relationship. If things don’t feel right, take a break and spend some time with number one — you. Find yourself first. Appreciate your own worth. And next time you’re in a relationship that’s sinking, you’ll be prepared to swim to safety.
Lie number 2: Happiness comes when you have everything you want
To be happy doesn’t mean you don’t desire more, it means you’re thankful for what you have and patient for what’s yet to come. Sometimes we get so caught up in trying to accomplish something big, that we fail to notice the little things that give life its magic. So appreciate today for all it’s worth. These are the good old days you’re going to miss in the years ahead.
Lie number 3: Pain is something you can see
Never underestimate the pain of a person, because in all honesty, everyone is struggling. Some people are just better at hiding it than others. You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. Passing judgement is an unnecessary waste of time and energy. If you have time to judge other people, you have way too much time on your hands. Get off your behind and do something meaningful.
Lie number 4: Life is supposed to be a certain way
It is ultimately only our own thoughts that hurt us. Simply feeling what we are feeling, and dealing with it honestly, can be very healing. We always have the freedom to choose how we wish to respond to whatever life presents to us. Let go of how you thought your life should be, and embrace the real life that is trying to work its way into your consciousness. Change what you can change, change your thoughts about what you can’t change, and move on in peace.
Lie number 5: You are supposed to be a certain way
When you stop comparing yourself with other versions of yourself, real or imagined; and when you stop comparing yourself with other people, real or imagined; that is when you taste a peace that is real, not imagined.
Lie number 6: Only a privileged few have the ability to live a great life
If every morning you wake up and say, “Yes, today is going to be a great day.“ And every afternoon you find a reason to say, ”Yes, today is a great day.“ And every night you find a reason to say, “Yes, today was a great day.” Then one day, many moons from now, you’ll look back, smile at the memories, and say, ”Yes, I lived a great life."
Lie number 7: Tough times are unnecessary
Sometimes things have to go wrong before they can go right. Sometimes you have to let the wrong people walk out before the right people can walk in. Sometimes you have to feel weak in order to know what it’s like to truly be strong. Sometimes you have to feel a little broken to realize you’ll never truly be shattered. Sometimes you have to meet a lot of people you like before you find the one you love. Sometimes you have to take the good in with the bad, knowing that in the end it’s all a worthwhile learning experience.
Lie number 8: To be strong is to not feel pain
In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel pain, accept it, learn from it, and work through it. It’s all about having the courage to ask for a time out, to shed a tear, to dust yourself off, and then getting back in the ring to fight like you’ve never fought before.
Lie number 9: You can fake it
Feel the love before saying, “I love you.“ Feel the gratitude before saying, ”Thank you.“ Feel the humility before saying, “I’m sorry.” Feel the release before saying, ”I forgive you." When you feel it before you say it, it needs fewer words and goes straight to the heart of your relationship.
Lie number 10: Dreaming is a waste of time
The greatest gifts are those invisible to the eyes but felt deeply by the heart. What we can see is usually just a small fraction of what is possible. Imagination is having the vision to see what is just below the surface — to picture that which is essential, but invisible to the eye. Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known, you just have to dream big enough to discover it.